perspective

Ever since the news early this week about Dan Wheldon's death at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway I've had the urge to express something.  Let me explain something before you wonder why I felt I had to express myself.  I've worked two years in a row at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway as a Safety person a/k/a yellow shirt in the outside Paddock at the start/finish line.  I worked those two years watching out for the safety of race fans and watched as a fan, the action on the track.  I'm also an 18-year veteran of the Brickyard 400 and I attend Nascar races at Phoenix International Raceway.

Those of us in Indiana who didn't get a basketball in the crib, grew up to the sounds of cars going around a two and a half mile oval at incredible speeds.  Racing is a part of my life.  Dan Wheldon wasn't my favorite driver by any means and yet the violence of the crash got to me.  The horrific footage that was played over and over again on the internet and television is something I won't forget any time soon.  One of the worst accidents I've seen in any motorsport. 

The thrill of these races comes in the dance with danger.  The action on the track of passing, going faster and faster, waiting to see if fate deals a bad hand with mechanical issues, it's all part of the excitement.  Wrecks are spectacular in these events!  When you see and hear these incredible machines colliding with each other or a wall in a fraction of a second makes the adrenaline rise.  While we never want anyone to be hurt, or worse killed, we love the accidents. 

It is true that both Indy Car and Nascar make tremendous efforts to ensure the safety of the driver, they can't make guarantees.  That risk is always there and it draws the drivers in as much as the fans.  Is the fame, noteriety, and money worth the life that, in this case, is lost?  No.  Not at all.  We, as humans, sometimes can't resist dancing on that edge, living life a little dangerously to feel truly alive.  It's why some of us ride roller coasters, jump out of planes, bungee jump, and take chances of all sorts.

While moved by the death of Dan Wheldon, I have to keep perspective and focus a little closer to home.  A friend, long time co-worker, is dealing with the illness of her baby brother (who is 39) who is in the hospital.  His condition is quite serious, cancer always is.  He is also the youngest member of this large family.  It's a very difficult time for the family.  I've never met the man.  His sister and I have a good friendship and it is for her that I am concerned.  I relate because I also have a younger brother and I know if the tables were turned how I would feel. 

No press conferences, no benefits, no projects will be named for my friend's brother.  He's another number on a page compared to the high profile life of Dan Wheldon.  Both deserve respect and the families deserve support.  One family grieves in the public eye and one family sits out of the spotlight, worrying, praying, and hoping for one more day.


"And so, it's been one of those days
When I let things get to me
I've got no right to complain
'Cause when I look around I see
Folks out there fighting for every breath
And it makes me realize
It's just been one of those days for me
But for them it's been one of those lives"

One of Those Lives, Brad Paisley

Indianapolis Bloggers

I am a new member of Indianapolis Bloggers.  My boyfriend found this group online and suggested we join.  Some of you may know I began this blog as a project for school and have continued as a form of communication and self-expression. 

This group has a good number of fellow bloggers communicating a variety of topics and exercising their freedom of speech, something very precious to me.

I would also like to encourage anyone reading this to remember to send a Thank You note via the USO or similar organizations to the service men and women who defend and protect our rights around the world. 

Have a great day!

Twitter: @IndyBloggers
Facebook: Indianapolis Bloggers
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time flies when you're having fun

So, I've been saying I need to put out a new post on my blog and then I do a million other things.  Summer has flown by me and fall is trying to run full speed ahead.  What have I been doing?  Well, let's start with festivals - Fountain Square Art Squared and Oranje.  Both one day events, actually on the same day!  Talk about tired! 

It was all worth it.  I think both events went very well.  I gained some new connections, new experiences and had some fun with my friends and wonderful boyfriend, who I got involved in both projects.  He is a photographer and took some great shots from both events. 

What else?  We went with my cousins to Dale Hollow Lake, staying at the campgrounds of Sulpher Creek Resort.  We had a great time even if it did rain part of the weekend.  Unplugging and getting back to nature was just what we needed.  The water down there is so clean and it was a wonderful 85 degrees.  If we can work it out, we'll return for a long weekend next year.  The drive home was on 61 North to I-65 and it was very scenic and peaceful.  No traffic problems there at all.  It wasn't the fastest route, I could have cut over through Glasgow, KY to get to I-65 faster but I'm glad we took the longer route.  Interstate travel can be so boring/stressful so 61N was a nice change of routine.  When we did reach I-65 we had no problems but the scenery was different.

Planning a party for Halloween/Birthdays at my friend Doug's lake house in Coatesville.  His birthday is 5 days before mine so we have to throw a party!  He and Danielle are great company.  Before going to Kentucky, we spent a day out on Heritage Lake with them and had a wonderful time.  Hopefully next year we can all go to Dale Hollow together - would be so much fun!

Travel isn't over for me.  Going to Phoenix in November to see my brother & family.  Cousin Sheena is going with me and it's her first time in Phoenix so I can't wait to show her around.  Danielle, Doug, Sheena, Erik and I are going to Kings Island in October with a bus full of friends and family organized by Mandy.  Erik and I talking about all of our travel options for next year.  So lucky to have someone to travel with and share experiences. 

School has started, the season has started at the Indiana Repertory Theater and the NBA season is on hold.  School is going well and so is the theater.  I love that part-time job.  I'll work basketball games if they ever play again.  Have to work to save for these travel plans we are coming up with. 

My volunteer work for the fall will consist of Super Bowl 2012 activities which includes working 3 Colts home games.  I'm on the Local Organizing Committee for the 2012 Mutt Strut.  I love that event and wanted more involvement so they accepted my request to be on the committee.  We start monthly meetings for that in October. I've also signed up to do a one night event called Tonic Ball, a fund raiser for the food banks.  Great event and lots of live music. 

My life is full and wonderful.  I know the year isn't over but it's been one of the best years of my life in so many ways and for so many reasons.  I'm so glad I have the good sense to realize it and cherish it.  Don't take anything for granted folks, life is too short!

tragedy & memories

Most people in my geographical area know what happened over the weekend at the Indiana State Fairgrounds right before Sugarland was to take the stage.  The wind blew the stage down and 5 people died, many more were injured. 

I went to the fair last night.  I kept looking at the crumpled rigging of the stage, the blue tarp lying there, the seats have all been removed, and the trailers that hauled the Sugarland stage still parked, looking abandoned.  The sun was setting and it looked so eerie, quiet and the scene demanded some respect.  A band that was at a peak in their career, shocked, shaken, by mother nature's wrath.  Families mourning, worrying about those still in the hospital.  Professionals and the public wondering how this happened, why this happened, and can it happen again.

I'm a veteran of about 300 concerts in my lifetime at all sorts of venues, indoors and outdoors.  I've been to the state fair grandstands to see concerts more times than I can count right now, I've gone nearly every year since I was a teenager.  I stood at the fence looking at the crumpled stage and all I could think was how many times I had been close to that stage, or up in the grandstands watching, knowing exactly where the video screens were placed (removed by last night), looking at the steel rigging that supported the lights, speakers and the canopy that covered the stage and knowing where the bands come and go to the green room.  I could see it all unfold in my mind, aided by several views of the amateur videos on Youtube. 

There was nothing to say out loud.  A night that should have been filled with fun, singing along, and a great performance ended before it had barely begun.  A girlfriend and I were talking how it could have happened to either of us at one of the shows we've been to.  Something can always go wrong and when it involves mother nature then there's nothing you can do.  I've gone to shows in rain storms, cold weather, scorching hot days, jumped in the mosh pit (ok, 20+ years ago, but I did it), and camped out all night to get in back in the days of general admission seating.  I've been lucky and I know it.

Tragic events are not foreign to the Indiana State Fair nor to concerts in general.  I hope it doesn't prevent the state fair from holding concerts on those grounds again.  I hope the space, after a season, doesn't become an unused venue.  A monument to the lives lost would be appropriate, but celebrate what drew people together in the first place - music.  Music and art are the world's language, transcending ethnicity, geography and grief.  Let healing begin with music in the open air again at the state fair.

Parades, art, roller coasters and life

Wow, it's been awhile.  Where do I start?  Things are going great with my new guy.  Can't believe how fast time has moved this summer.  Its been very hot, but a very good summer.  Drive-in theater, Oranje Peel parties, art shows, indoor movies, family visits, go karts, we've done it all.

I've been really jazzed about the Fountain Square Art Squared event.  I've been working to recruit volunteers, participants for the art fair, and participants to march in our parade.  I'm working on Star Wars, Star Trek, and Ghost Buster characters.  I've got the junior roller derby team confirmed, waiting on the adult teams to confirm.  I've sent a request to Sammy Terry, legendary local t.v. scary man and to the jugglers group.  This art council is so much fun to be a part of and has inspired me to apply for my event management certification following my travel planning certification.

Erik and I are headed to Kings Island for a long weekend on the 6th.  Our first travel adventure together.  This trip and the one on Labor Day weekend to Dale Hollow Lake with my cousins will be test to see if we can move on to longer trips.  I believe we'll be just fine.  We get on so well. 

Now that the NFL lockout is over and we will have a super bowl, my volunteer activities for that event have begun.  I'll have that event overlapping with the Fountain Square event and Oranje Art and Music Fest.  The Humane Society 2012 Mutt Strutt committees start meeting around October of this year.  I'm already on the merchandising committee for the 2012 BMW Golf Championship at Crooked Stick Golf Course.  I'm all over this volunteer thing!  I do love it.

I have had to give up some things - like the FFA Convention and jobs at both race tracks.  The NBA is on lockout so I won't have that for awhile.  The Indiana Repertory Theater is the only part-time job I'll be working consistently for awhile, luckily it is my favorite.

Two classes this semester and one of them requires my attendance on campus, ugh!  Online works much better with my life, but it wasn't an option this go round.  Its all worth it.  I could be a part time student forever.

I make to-do lists every week.  I don't always complete them.  I try.  Maybe I'm being an over achiever.  Life is short though and there's so much to do, see, and experience.  Erik is wonderful about helping me to relax.  He calms me down in a lot of ways and supports my efforts.  Its a tough job, but he's up for it!

"...So bless me father yes I have sinned
Given the chance I’ll prob’ly do it again
I don’t need absolution just a simple solution will do...
...
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Maybe have me a boat drink or two
It’s good for coastal confessions I hear
Tell the truth
Tell the truth
I’ve got some coastal confessions to make
How ‘bout you
How ‘bout you
How ‘bout you
How ‘bout you ..."

cleaning

So I had this huge pile of financial papers that needed to be sorted and shredded.  You know, the stuff we collect weekly and monthly - receipts, bills, bank statements, invoices, stuff we're not sure what to do with - stuff.  It's really quite shameful that this pile has been accumulated over close to two years and I did nothing about it. 

I used to be so organized and prudent about such documentation.  I balanced my check book monthly.  I filed away important papers.  Then I began taking on more and more responsibility - volunteering, school, part-time jobs, a more active social life - and this pile began to grow as it was one of those things that I couldn't make time for.

Most of us have heard old phrases such as: cleanliness is next to godliness, cleaning clears the mind, yada yada yada...I'll never be a god and my mind being clear sounds like an impossibility.

Well, the pile grew and grew and grew until it overran the weak container I put it into so long ago.  Little papers all around and haunting me every time I opened the door. 

My boyfriend (hi babe!) had a flood in his basement and has spent days cleaning up the mess.  I guess you could say he inspired me.  I especially felt the inspiration when he came over to the house and I realized he may actually see my pile of shame.  He's teased me about it - of course I told him - and has offered suggestions. 

I thought years ago when I got a paper shredder that it was kinda fun to put the paper through it.  But when you sit and do that for 90 minutes plus and realize you still have half a pile left and your back hurts from the repetitive motion, it isn't fun anymore, its just work.

On a positive note, I will say I do feel some since of relief for having at least gotten half way through the pile of shame.  It's not quite so shameful now.  I do feel some ownership over the problem and will see it through now that it's begun.  The trick will be to keep it in check and try to rebuild some of those lost organizational habits.  Wish me luck!

overlooking the obvious

Why is it we overlook the obvious in our lives?  Is it because we choose to do so?  Is it a matter of having blinders on?  Could it be because our subconscious knows we aren't ready to deal with whatever is obvious? 

I have opened my eyes and realized what was waiting for me in the form of a wonderful guy.  He's been there all along.  Maybe I wasn't ready, had to go through a lot of losers I am fond of saying, but I really think I wasn't ready to be where we are now.  I had to grow, change, learn, and appreciate more about life in order to get to this point.

I am dealing with my commitment fears, fear of losing my individuality, fear of being suffocated.  He's been great with all of that and has given me space to just be.  As I hope I am giving him - I don't want to change him - I want him to be who he is.  We both agree that we need to maintain our individuality in order to be able to come together as a couple and be stronger together.  Yes, there is 'us', an identity all it's own, but also 'he' and 'I'.  It's about striking a balance and he gets that. 

We share several things in common - one of them being travel.  We've talked and have begun to plan travels together.  We're discussing what he would like to do, what I would like to do and I believe by satisfying & sharing our individual interests we'll be able to grow a bond during these travels that will be hard to break.  We're starting small but have much grander travel plans to other countries.  One day at a time and hopefully it'll be obvious that we're making the right decisions along the way.

Obviously I'm happy with what I've found.